Disappointment does not mean failure

Today I hit the wall. It wasnt all at once but a subtle onset of noticeable systems. I drink more water then I normally do. I felt like taken more breaks. I found myself on the Treadwell trail at the Eagle Crest and Bonnie Doon fork, struggling to make a decision.
My training run for the day was going to be a little ambitious thinking about it now. I trashed the idea of another Mt Juneau run, it was 10 am and the clouds still hovered low.
So I settled with the idea of doing Mt. Roberts for elevation and run the length of Treadwell around 18 round trip for distance. Once I reached the tram I descended down the trail and crossed the Douglas bridge up Cordova street.  Running up hill on road felt so good, the solid ground help find a suitable cadence. I took the Dan Moler trail up. I came to the fork, left is the cabin and straight is Treadwell.  The thought of checking out trail conditions up to the cabin lingered in my mind for a second, thats all it took to be sold on the idea. After the cabin, ill run Treadwell one way then from from Eagle Crest ill return to Roberts trail where my vehicle was, is what I thought. Made it to the cabin and had so much fun racing down the board walks.  Feeling the spring back with each step. Something I have defiantly missed from winter running. Connected back to Treadwell ditch and pursued my run on the flat but technical terrain. Any other day it would take me under two hours to get to the other side but today I wasnt going for speed, but just to fatigued the legs.
An hour and a half later my legs weren't fatigued but my body and brain was. I packed plenty of bars but I was in such a deficit sugar level it would take more then bars to bounce back.
I continued to take breaks until I made it to the Bonnie Doon fork.  It was so frustrating to feel physical capable to complete my goal to Eagle Crest but mentality exhausted to feel it wouldn't be the safest option.  Taking Bonnie Doon trail would cut off 7+ miles and get me to my vehicle faster but the trail conditions down Bonnie is a challenge.  Unavoidable mud wholes that shallow shoes, roots and windfall trees knee high and technical terrain that can provide ankle hazards. This wasnt my preferred choice but it would be the most reasonable, given my mental and physical state declining by the minute.  
It prove to be the best decision, I made it to the North Douglas highway. With two miles left when I really felt the systems hit me the hardest. Running wasn't an option without throwing up, all I could do was walk. A friend in his truck slowed and rolled his window down it was a Gezzer friend (Sunday running club) Steve Davis in his truck. His first question to me was "how many miles today?" I attempted a smile. I was shocked when I tried to speak. My thoughts were clear but putting it to words was like word salad.  I jumbled and mixed my words to try to only make a scrambled sentence.  He then offered a lift sensing the state I was in. I declined the offer and was able to say no thank you. It was very considerate. Running or racing this is no easy way to the finish. I made it to the truck and immediately pre ordered a pizza. They ask "take out or delivery?" I was confused by that question "ill eat it there" I replied. Is it not normal to pre order?  I thought.  I understand people go out to eat and have conversation before the meal and all of that.  This time was just about eating. Remembering how naisested I was just a short time ago I eat my pizza very slowly but with purpose. 

The Sluice Box 100

I have so far completed the half of the Alaska Slam, Susitna 100 and White Mountain 100. With two summer races left, brings new challenges ahead. 

The course discrimination reads, "the potential for getting lost on the trail is HIGH". With my sense of direction guess im getting lost, was my thought. Definitely going to bring a map. 

I have never ran a summer 100. The Sluice Box 100 is my next 100 miler. This will be three out of four 100 milers to complete this year. The distance is familiar but the conditions will be the biggest challenge. I love winter running. It took two years of year around running before I realized, winter is the most comfortable time to run. There is less chafing, snow trails provide no real concern for footing and Im comfortable breathing the cold air. Developing a strategy how to over come the summer conditions has been on my mind for the last two months.

 My strategy throughout the race is to be comfortable despite the heat. Ill change out clothes frequently, fresh socks and shirts with the help of my Dad Pat Laws as my crew member. The Sluice Box allows people to crew for an individual racer. Racing crew serves a lot like a pit crew in NASCAR but instead of jetfuel ill be digesting gues and bars. A crew can be one or more people. Typical responsibilities would be to refresh the racers water bottles, pack food, change socks, lance blisters etc... depends on what you agree on. I'll probably be doing my own lancing to spare him that enjoyment. Im hoping the frequent clothes change and using something called Blistop spray (kind of top secret and cant really talk about) will prevent chaffing and blisters. 

Second consideration is the terrain i have been training on. My pre race training vs now has changed. I started out 90% road 10% trail for the winter races, now 90% trail and 10% road is my method of training. I like to train in the conditions im racing in. Winter training was normally long runs on the road and sometimes Dan Moler for hills. Now the training will call for speed, foot work and hills. The terrain will be technical,  the downhills will be fast and the uphills will be frequent. To be ready for this shift I have put in a lot of trail running and less into road. As a result my stability muscle will get stronger and hopefully have more runs then injuries. 

My last thought to bet the heat in Fairbanks is sauna training. I need to better climatized to dry hot conditions. While in a sauna I just need to raise my heart rate up by jogging in place to get the affect.  Start off with just a few minutes and a letter of water and gradually increase time. 

Looking at the map this looks to be my most challenging course but I think with the aid of my father out on the course, tons of water stations, and possibly my method of training will lead me to success. 

The Sluice Box will be June 28th.